Looking Back To The Past

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Dunia is the private weekly journal of a girl born with disability, who uses a wheelchair and a respiratory ventilator machine yet is no different to any other person, read about her struggle, tribulation as she strives to seek independence. The character and events of the journal are pure fiction and bear no relation to anyone.
by: Raya AlJadir (@Carelessrayoon)


Hello my Dunia,

A new year has began 2016, but we know people are fickle, and just as they were excited and shouting 2016 in few months they will be lamenting it and wishing it goes away. That is why I told you before I will not let my destiny or happiness controlled by a year or date, why blame the title of a year for your predicament.

Having said that, I forget to tell you in my last entry that the last week of 2015 was rather strange, first I got a bladder infection which I told you about previously, then I developed a cold and flu, which all required antibiotic then for some reason my ear got blocked, I think it was flu and sinus related. When I went to see the ENT (ear, nose and throat) doctor she told me I had a sinus infection, so another course of antibiotic for two weeks. To make my last week of 2015 even more strange my elbow started to really hurt – remember I have a chronic pressure sore on my elbow – so I went to see the nurse first thing on New Year’s eve, who decided that it looks infected and got the doctor to come and examine it who then prescribed two weeks course of antibiotic.

So here I was starting the year on two different types of antibiotics for two weeks. But you know Dunia, look on the bright side, at least there is a cure and medicine available, no I am not being a martyr or angelic, but this is the reality of things, yes I have pain, yes I suffer like millions and millions of people across the globe but I am lucky as there is a pain relief for me or a medicine that would ease my infection, other people don’t have such option. You see my point Dunia? We can’t dislike 2015 and get excited at its departure, because with every bad element there is a positive spark that people out of greed I guess dismiss, and I am one of these people sometimes, alright quite often.

I was worried about taking two courses of antibiotics for two long weeks. Sometimes, certain antibiotic have mild side effects on me such as getting breathless, tight chested or lose my appetite so I was very cautious. Also before the end of 2015, I had discovered an online disability magazine, which I contacted to see if they would want me as a regular writer, once they saw sample of my work they were eager for me to start, and my first assignment was to write about New Year’s Resolutions. This was not a topic I felt excited about because I have never in my life made New Year’s resolution or even believed in them so it is going to be tough, but I have to do it, it is my first task and I must impress them.

I thought the best way to prepare for the article is by thinking and looking back at 2015, for me, it was a nice progressive year, yes it had its down points, sad times but there were few happy moments too. I tried to think what I had achieved during the last year and where I had failed. Let me count the failures first, I remember saying to myself a while back that during the year I must read X number of books (don’t want to embarrass myself and admit the target I set to read – let us just say I was 11 short off my aim), failed to produce any work on my PhD, let alone a written chapter, and I don’t think I managed to learn any new skill this year. Yet on a more positive side in 2015, I met different people, tried new things (if riding a London Bus, eating octopus and king prawn counts?) cut down on sugar in my coffee (went down from 9 sachets to 6), expanded my writings across various fields and social media, and increased the followers to my disability awareness page ‘Careless’. I guess I am warming now to the idea of resolutions. Right Dunia, let me gather my thoughts and start writing.


Raya is an English degree graduate from Queen Mary, University of London, where she also read Renaissance Studies for Masters Degree and currently researching for a PhD thesis entitled ' The role of servants in political matters in Early Modern Drama'. Raya is a freelance translator, writer and proof-reader, she has also taught English to refugees and migrants as a volunteer at The Migrants Resource Centre and worked at both Amnesty International and Equality and Human Rights Commission. Currently she is volunteers at various charity projects and Research centres, such as Scope, Muscular Dystrophy UK. Raya is a keen blogger and campaigner for disability rights issues and has her own site 'Careless' http://www.accessless.com/. Her main interest is promoting disability awareness especially among Arabs and Muslims.
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